I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
