Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
