Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i think im in europe. pls send help
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
