i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
