If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We need a shit load of segways right now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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