Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
