So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
