Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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