Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
that may or may not have been my penis.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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