would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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