Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
