he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
