I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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