Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
