Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
