A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
