We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
