i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
