I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude i'm inner monologue high
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
