you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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