PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
