I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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