I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
