at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
