Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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