I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
