Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
