before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
be right there i have to get my cape
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
