dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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