He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
