don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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