How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
