Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
