well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
