Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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