At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He did a backflip because drugs
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