We're facebook friends in real life
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
