once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
