You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the condom got lost in my hair
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
