i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
