I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
