All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
