been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
