whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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