Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
