Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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