we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
