There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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