Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
