the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
