at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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