They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
