So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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